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Some laws Newton forgot…

LAW OF QUEUE:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF COFFEE:

As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

via Zia Aziz

A huge apple tree

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the treetop, ate the apples, and took a nap under the shadow. He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by, the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree every day.

One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.

“Come and play with me”, the tree asked the boy.

“I am no longer a kid, I do not play around trees any more” the boy replied.

“I want toys. I need money to buy them.”

“Sorry, but I do not have money, but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.”

The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.

One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned and the tree was excited.

“Come and play with me” the tree said.

“I do not have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?”

“Sorry, but I do not have any house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house”. So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.

One hot summer day, the man returned and the tree was delighted.

“Come and play with me!” the tree said.

“I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” said the man.

“Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy.”

So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

Finally, the man returned after many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I do not have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you”, the tree said.

“No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite” the man replied.

“No more trunk for you to climb on”.

“I am too old for that now” the man said.

“I really cannot give you anything, the only thing left is my dying roots,” the tree said with tears.

“I do not need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years,” the man replied.

“Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest, come sit down with me and rest.” The man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears. 

A sufi story.

Festival di Sanremo 2011 intervista di Morandi e Canalis Pappagallis a De Niro

Morandi : “Mr De Niro Le presento Elisabetta Canalis una nostra bellezza italiana, una ragazza… molto bella.”

E mi domando : ma quanto tempo ci ha messo per ripetere due volte la stessa cosa?

Insomma “professionals” pappagalli, Elisabetta Canalis sfoggia una conoscenza 

impressionante nell’arte di fare un sorriso e ripetere qualsiasi frottola che gli passi per la testa vuota.

Cronaca della mediocrità :

Dimentichiamo l’inizio dove volano i complimenti più alti, verso i 00:30 

Morandi domanda : “Noi ieri abbiamo festeggiato, qui in Italia, i 150 anni della nostra unita’”

e gia’ qui c’é la Canalis che guarda De Niro imbambolata, nel frattempo lo stesso Morandi riformula la domanda a finche la Canalis riesca a tradurla :

“L’Italia e diventata l’Italia, 150 anni fa…” Morandi a questo punto si gira verso la Canalis e ordina : “Diglielo…”

La Canalis parte tutta orgogliosa con aria da prima della classe “So… Italy became Italy an hundred fifty years ago, we celebrated ital.. (e qui s’inceppa) yesterday, it was a very important day”

Morandi riparte subito e riprende il discorso con una domanda sulle origini del cognome di De Niro 

sbagliandosi sulla data dei suoi nonni, la Canalis interviene per correggere Morandi, e dopo di che, con un grande sorriso fiera di aver fatto notare l’imprecisione di Morandi riguarda De Niro completamente imbambolata fino che Morandi finisce di formulare la domanda. 

E qui casca L’asino! 

De Niro ha già capito tutto, e risponde lui in Italiano, proprio come dice sui commenti di youtube 9abj “De Niro risponde ma sulla sua faccia c’è un grande, immenso WTF.”

A questo punto la Canalis rimane sorpresa, forse si era dimenticata che doveva tradurre…  

improvvisamente si ricorda quello che aveva imparato a memoria, probabilmente da mesi, e riprende con: 

“Si no he’s say.. he’s saying…”

ma Si No che cosa? 

e il colmo e che gli ripete la domanda in Inglese! e vi dico che questo e solo la punta dell’iceberg di quanta conoscenza possiede “La nostra bellezza italiana, una ragazza…” quell’attimo dove Morandi cerca un altra qualità’ fra le migliaia della Canalis, ehhh…e si caro Morandi e più facile trovare un ago nel pagliaio ; 

l’unica cosa che gli viene in testa e’ : 

molto bella, e poi molto bella e poi ancora molto bella o forse e solo bella?

Ma la Pappagallis.. ops scusate la Canalis sa fare molto di meglio, infatti,

quando verso i 4:19 la Canalis tutta sicura di se si infogna lentamente fino ad arrivare al culmine della saggezza dove De Niro cerca di spiegare come si dice Gentrified, e lei non dice niente, 

finche lui smette di chiedere “Come si dice Gentrified?” per la trecentesima volta, 

e la Canalis cadendo dalle nuvole se ne esce fuori ripetendo come una oca imbambolata “Gentrified”.

Dopo di che, tadam! il colpo finale quello da “Matador”, Morandi si mangia la Canalis chiedendo di tradurre “Taxi Driver” e lei che risponde immediatamente “Taxi Driver”…. 

Ma la Canalis se trombata mezza rai per arrivare li? francamente…

e per il vostro immenso piacere il link al video su youtube 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_957700&v=WL7JQV1YOUg&feature=iv